Reality of today: RHYME FOR WORKING ENGINEERS

Johnny Johnny…………… YES PAPA..

Job in Mumbai…………….YES PAPA..

Lots of Tension……………..YES PAPA..

Too Much Work…………...YES PAPA..

Family Life………………...NO PAPA..

BP-Sugar…………………..HIGH PAPA..

Yearly Bonus…...........JOKE PAPA..

Annual Pay………..…...LOW PAPA..

Personal Life………....LOST PAPA..

Promotion Incentive……...Haa.. Haa.. Haa..

Awesome Creation By An Honhar engineer:

Kaala hai rang pen k syahi ka,
Ek to teri yaad sataye upar se bojhh PADHAI ka...

Poori pad li DC Motor, value pata na Φ ka,
Jaane kahan le jayega, pyaar mujhe harjaai ka...

Tere dil ko jaane waali har line hi POLYPHASE hai,
College ke har ladke mein bas tera hi craze hai...

Mere dil ke COMPILER mein INCLUDE teri HEADER FILE hai,
C.R.O. ki tarah har WAVE FORM lagti teri SMILE hai...

Mere brain ke PROCESSOR mein tere saath ki I.C. hai,
Tere aane se life ho gayi meri spicy hai...

Working jiski samajh naa aaye aisi tu DEVICE hai,
Tum kaisa bhi input de do wo sada hi REVERSE BIAS hai...

Meri prem kahani mein jaane kitne TWIST hai,
PROGRAM jiska run na ho aisi wo LINKED LIST hai...

Teri yaado se hi full meri MEMORY ka HARD DISK hai,
Final mein ye haal raha to ant mera BACK hai...

Teri wajah se BACK bhi aaye fir bhi mujhe tu dear hai,
Tu kon si topper hai tu bhi to JUST CLEAR hai...

Fir bhi jee lunga tere bin itna mujhe vishwaas hai,
Aakhir iss COLLEGE mein kitne nakaara aashiq PASS hai...!!!

Welcome To 21 Century.....!!!

Our Phone ~ Wireless
Cooking ~ Fireless
Car ~ Keyless
Food ~ Fatless
Dress ~ Sleeveless
Youth ~ Jobless
Leaders ~ Shameless
Relationship ~ Meaningless
Attitude ~ Careless
Wives ~ Fearless
Feeling ~ Heartless
Education ~ Valueless
Children ~ Mannerless

Everything is Becoming LESS
But Still, Our Hopes Are ~ Endless.

Truth of practical exams

Engineers Rock........!!!

Engineering Student's Law Of Tension

Pressure Is Inversely Proportional To The Number Of Days Left For the Exams,
Where 'KAL SE PADHENGE' Remains Constant!"

Cheating is good for reflexes

Cheating in exams is the best exercise for your reflexes..
your eyes are rolling to see the answer sheet of your seatmate.
your ears should be attentive even to the softest whispers to
get what your seatmate is saying.
your neck is stretched either ways to search for clues.

your hand writes very fast of the answer you’ve got.
your feet kicks the chair of your classmate to let him/her know that u want to copy.
Best way 2 make yourself healthy So keep on cheating ;)

Height of technology:

An engineering student writes all Answers as

|||||||||

and lastly he writes..
Ans. are written in BAR CODE Format 2 Protect from Being Copied...!!

What an engineer thinks during exam days

kahan koi kitab aisi mili,
jispar dil luta dete,
har ek ne dimaag khaya kis-kis ko nipta dete,
ab syllabus dekhkar sonchte hain ki 1 mahina aur hota to duniya hila dete !

Letter to Santa on occasion of christmas

Dear Santa,

Can u give death to rapists, brain to politicians, guts to PM,
safety to women and peace in our country.. :)

From,
Honhar Engineer

Engineering has 2 types of subjects:

1). Hard subject which can't be studied.

2) Easy subject that doesn't need to be studied.

School vs College Life

School : Pencil, rubber, sharpener, scale !! :)

College : Ek ball pen wo bhi friends se cheena huwa ;) :P
.
School : Class mein enter hone se pehle :
Ma'am may i come in? (^_^)

College : Bina bethe hi Mobile kaan se laga k class se bahar !! (-___-)
.
School : Bag mein har subject ki books !! :)

College : Yaar ek paper toh phad ke dede next class me book la luga :P
.
School : Class test mein Star !! ★☆

College : Full moon hi naseeb hota hai yaar !! ◑
.
School : Listen I like her !! ♥ .

College : aise mat dekh saale, bhabi hai teri :D
.
School : Yaar Kal Test hai, Mai chutti maar lunga beemar hone ka bahaana le ke.

College : (test Day) Chal Yaar aaj bunk Maarte Hain...!!

Students at different situations

Students in the class
(-_-) (-_-) (-_-) (-_-) (-_-) (-_-) (-_-) (-_-)
.
.
When teacher say tomorrow will be exam
(O_O) (O_O) (O_O) (O_O) (O_O) (O_O)
.
.
During the exam
(→_→) (←_←) (→_→) (←_←) (→_→) (←_←)
.
.
When invigilator comes in
(↓_↓) (↓_↓) (↓_↓) (↓_↓) (↓_↓)
.
.
In the end of the exam
(๏̯͡๏) (͡๏̯͡๏) (͡๏̯͡๏) (͡๏̯͡๏) (͡๏̯͡๏) (͡๏̯͡๏)

Hats off to great scientist Thomas Edison

I am a great fan of Thomas Edison,

Because of his quote that…!!

Tomorrow is my exam but I don't care
Because a single sheet of paper
cannot decide my future :P

BIGGEST ENGINEERING TRUTH

Your family members will not consider you an engineer........
Unless
You don"t repair any of Home Appliances...........

Reaction of Doctors After Operation and Students After Exam

Doctors After Operation and Students After Exam Both tell the Same Answer
.
.
.
.
.
We Tried Our Best
Can’t Say Anything Right Now !

Statement of Boys, unsuccessful in making Girlfriends in ENGINEERING...

1st Sem:"Meri toh pehle se hai..
.
2nd sem:"Chalo try Karenge.
.
3rd sem:"Apne batch me koi dhang ki nahi hai.
.
4th sem:"Juniors bhi selfish hai.
.
5th sem:"Bhai kisi se intro karvade..
.
6th sem:"Koi bhi chalegi..
.
7th sem:"Mere pass time nahi tha varna..
.
8th sem:"dekha puri degree ho gayi par aaj tak kisi ko bhav nahi diya...:

Semester tip...

The most inspiring quote for Engineering students


Where there is a WILL there is a WAY


After December there is May.

What the hell is this Education?

India is our nation.
Love is our destination.
Dating is our occupation.
Romance is our profession,
in between what the hell is this Education.

Engineer-whole year & before exam

Engineer's life

WHOLE YEAR

(',')>
_/)(
<"\_
DISCO DEEWANE
AAH HAA

Last 2 days b4 exam

(',')__
_ /_/<'L

KHUDA TERI CHOKHAT PE,
BHIKHARI BAN K AAYA HU....!:...:p

Faddu attitude just like an engineer

papa:- yeh kya tera maths me 1 mark aaya hai.
.
son:-jab irado me ho dum to haunslo me Q nahi.
.
papa:- what .......?

.
son:- sirf 2 zero ka fark hai papa.........
aa jayega........

Frustration at its peak of a Engineering student:

Man: Beta kya karte ho?

Boy: Uncle B.E.

Uncle: Kya sikhate hai isme?

Boy: Kehte to yehi hai ki software banana sikhayenge.
Lekin BC sirf Chutiya banana sikhate hai.

Man: Achaa kaun c Branch lee hai?

Boy: Uncle branch vranch nahi pura ped le liya hai.

Man: Kaun sa year chal reha hai?

Boy: 2012

Man: Matlab tumahra kaun sa year chal reha hai?

Boy: BKL
Engineering kar rahe hai to kya Alien thode hee ho gaye
jo humara alag year hoga
ab nikal le Boss DK !:P:D

Height of Attempting a question !

An 'Engineering' student wrote in exam-
.
.
.

Q. What is an "Array"?
Ans.- an array is a word used to call a friend
e.g. :
.
.
"array" kidhar jaa ra
"array" kya kar raha re
"array" idhar aa !

Engineer's approach towards answering a question

Question in Exam: ==>Define LOVE and explain in details? (14 marks)

MBA Student's Ans: ==> "Love is Life.." (marks 1/2 out of 14)

Medical Student's Ans: ==> "Love is Pain.." (marks 1/2 out of 14)

Engineering Student's Ans:

Definition:
A serious disorder of Heart due to Relationship
between Men & Women that can cause Death
of 1 or Both depending on the resistance associated..!!

TYPES:
1 sided & 2 sided

AGE:
Usually occurs in teenagers,
but nowdays can be found in any age...

SYMPTOMS:
Tension
Daydreaming
Insomnia
Phone Addiction

DIAGNOSIS BY:
Diary
Photos
Mobile

TREATMENT:
Anti-LOVE therapy by Father's Shoe
or Mother's Sandle....
(marks 14 out of 14)

MORAL:
Don't Play with Engineers,
they can do any thing for 14 marks...:D

Value of an engineer

A Engg. Student's GF asked him: kya exam me 1 ya 2 bar back aanese degree ki value kam ho jaati hai???

Engg. Student ne apni pocket se 500 ka note nikala or pucha iski kya value h ???

GF- Rs.500

Engg. Student ne use mutthi me mod k pucha ab ???

GF-500

Then he crushed the note with his foot & asked again....

GF-500

Engg Student- jaanu hum enGineer bhi isi 500 k note ki tarah hote hai, hume kitna b ragad lo hamari value kam nahi hogi:p

Still Engineer kahlata hai....

Engineer wo hai jise lecture me angelina jolie ka khayal ata hai,

theatre me assignment ka sawal ata hai,
mess me ghar k khane ka swaadyaad ata hai,

exam se pehli raat syllabus yaad ata hai,
practical me kuch nahi ata fir bhi pass hone ka andaz ata hai,
Bunk karte waqt class me saman bhul ata hai lekin pakda fir bhi nahi jata hai,
Attendance se jyada proxy lagata hai,
placement k kahyal me 4 saal barbad karwata hai,
But still Engineer kahlata hai.....!!!

Complex Funda in Engineering

The degree B.E. should be written as......

B+iE

Where Bachelor is real part,
Engineering is the imaginary part....... :D :D

Story of every engineering student's life during 4 years

FIRST YEAR

IIT'S aur AIEEE ke sadme ke maare..
ho jaate hain anjaane universities ke hawale..
har kisi ke dil mei hota hai ragging ka dar..
samajh mei nahin aata kahan se nikle..
jo bach jaaye senior se kal..
pakde jaate hain kahin bhi..
to ho jaata hai dimaag kharaab......
jab senior bolta hai junior se
abe junior....ninet y maar ninety maar..
din gujarte hai freshers party aati hai....
saath mei ragging ka dar uda le jaati hai..
har dil mei hoti hai topper banene ki hasrat..
kitabon se milti nahin kisi ko bhi fursat...
ek ek no ke liye marte hai hum sab..
sab paar karte hain 70 ki sarhad....

SECOND YEAR

senior banene ka hota hai humko abhimaan..
sab junior ho jaate hain savdhaan...
frnds bat jaate hain kai groups mei....
har koi dikhta hai naye looks mei...
padhaai mei to dil nahin lagta kisi ka..
har koi dhundta hai mauka propose karne ko kisi ka..
raat bharhum sab baaton mei bitaate hain..
subah har roj college ko gariyaate hain...
har kisi ko yahi lagta hai ki usko pyaar ho gaya..
uff ab to jeena bhi duswaar ho gaya......
kuch successful ho jaate hai to apne
doston ko nai tricks batate hain...
izzat itni milti hai ki jisko dekh muskurate hain....
hosh jab thikaane aata hai to khoob chilaate hain....
are yaar ye 60s ki line kahan se aa gayi
chalo ab SHIVANI aajmaate hain...(famous question bank books )

THIRD YEAR

Third year aati hai apni jimedaari ka ehsaas dilaati hai..
kyunki agle saal placement ki tension satati hai...
par jab bhi kambaqt padhne ko baithete hain
to ek baar uski yaad jaroor satati hai.....
nai nai technology seekhne ka josh aata hai..
koi java to koi .net ko apna career banane ka khwaab sajata hai....
attendence aur detain list aati hai sakhya kuch jyada hi bad jaati hai.....
sessnls mei marks kaise laaye jayen ye ab samajh mei aa jata hai.......
desk aur parci ka option jo mil jata hai mehnat sabki rang laati hai....
padhaai ki gaadi back on track aati hai.....

FOURTH YEAR

final year aata hai aur doston meifaasle badata hai...
har koi chehra tension mei nazar aata hai.......
kyunki kya kya karen ye samajh mei nahin aata hai....
dil aage ki soch ke gabraata hai kambaqt har din bahut jaldi gujar
jata hai...
intezaar khatm hota hai aur placement ka din aa jata hai...
dil mei bas dar hi reh jata hai......
har koi uper waale ko yaad karta hai...
bas mujhe placed kara de ye har waqt fariyaad karta hai...
tension badti jaati hai jab interview ka waqt aata hai...
tell me abt urself? mei kya bolein confusion badta jaata hai...
dil ki dhadkan tej hoti hai jab result aata hai..
par kisi dost ka na ho dil roye ya hanse ye samajh mei nahin aata
hai......
Unplaced dost aksar nazein churate hain....
aur dil ko har baar ghaayal kar jate hain.........
kuch din final sem dene ke baad har koi apne raaste nikal jata hai.....
sayad yahi zindagi hai ek anjana safar
waqt chupke se humse yahi keh jata hai.....
dil mei ek kasak hoti hai.....
jab har aankein nam hoti hai........
phir milne ke waade se hum ek doosre ka sahas badaate hain.......
kabhi na akele rehne waale dost bas yaadon ke sahare jindagi bitate
hain........... ..
lekin jab bhi yeh college ke din yaad aate hain..
aankhon mei haseen aur aansun ek
saath laate hain.....

Engineering Rockxxxxx :) :)

What really an Engineer is ?

Engineer Woh Hai Jo Aksar Phasta Hai

Interviews Ke Sawaal  Mae

Badi Companiyon Ki Chaal Mae

Boss Aur Client Ke Bawaal Mae

Engineer Woh Hai Jo Pak Gaya Hai

Meetings Ki Jhelai Mae

Submissions  Ki Gehrai Mae

Teamwork Ki  Chatai Mae

Engineer Woh Hai Jo Laga Rahta Hai

Schedule Ko Failane Mae

Targets Ko Khiskaane Mae

Roz Naye-Naye Bahane Mae

Engineer Woh Hai Jo

Lunch Time Mae Breakfast Karta Hai

Dinner  Time Mae Lunch Karta Hai

Commutation KeWaqt Soya Karta Hai

Engineer Woh Hai Jo Pagal Hai

Chai  Aur Samose Ke Pyar Mae

Cigeratte Ke Khumar Mae

Birdwatching Ke Vichar Mae

Engineer Woh Hai Jo KhoyaHai

Reminders Ke Jawaab Mae

Na Milne Wale Hisaab Mae

Behtar Bhavishya Ke Khwaab Mae

Engineer Woh Hai Jise Intezaar Hai

Weekend Night  Manane Ka

Boss Ke Chhutti Jaane Ka

Increment Ki Khabar Aane Ka

Engineer Woh Hai Jo Sochta Hai

Kaash Padhai  Pe Dhyaan Diya Hota

Kaash Teacher Se Panga Na Liya Hota

Kaash Ishq Na Kiya Hota

Aur Sabse Behtar To Ye Hota

Kambakht Engineering Hi Na Kiya Hota……..….!!!!!!!!!!

Types of woman by Software Engineer

स्त्रियों को कवि अपनी भाषा में परिभाषित करते हैं, वकील अपनी भाषा में उनके प्रकार बताते हैं....
एक कंप्यूटर इंजीनियर ने स्त्रियों के प्रकार कुछ यूं बताए हैं....

Windows Woman - किसी काम की नहीं होती, पर इसके बगैर गुजारा भी नहीं होता.

Hard-Disk Woman - ये हमेशा सब कुछ याद रखती हैं

RAM Woman – मुंह फेरते ही ये आपके बारे में सब-कुछ भूल जाती हैं

SCREENSAVER Woman – वैसे तो किसी काम की नहीं, But atleast she is fun !

INTERNET Woman – Difficult to access !

E-mail Woman – इसकी कही 10 बातों में से 8 बिना मतलब की होती हैं

Virus Woman – इसको “बीबी” भी कहते हैं, इसकी हकीकत जब तक आप जान पाते हैं तब तक आपके system का बैण्ड बज चुका होता है !

characteristics of engineering students

 

 

 

 

1. SPEED: Getting Ready In 5 Minutes

2. SHARING: Whole Class Copying One Assignment !!

3. PRESENTATION SKILLS: Can Present One Answer, In 5 Different Ways For 5 Different Questions

4. EDITING: Your Report Contains Atleast 5 Pages Less Than, The Person From Whom You Copied

5. MULTI-TASKING: Playing Games On Cell, SMS to Girlfrend/Boyfriend, Gossiping With Seat-Mate, Day Dreaming

6. Art: Beautiful Art On The Last Page Of Note Books

Aey Ki Mazaq hai?

When a student is late 4 a class,
He is not Punctual
When a teacher is late 4 a class,
He is very busy

When a student has not completed his work,
He is Irresponsible
When a teacher has not complete his correction,
He is not a Machine.

When a student talks inside d class,
It is Bad Behavior
When the teacher does the same,
he has something important to discuss

When student bunk a class,
He is not serious in studies
When a teacher does the same,
He Needs a break.................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!