"I am an engineer" because...

I can write 70 words per minute but
I can't read my own handwriting.

I spend more time with my mobile
than with my family.

My IQ is greater than my weight.

I explain 3 years old child why the sky is blue
using terms like scattering,interference & diffraction.

I know second law of thermodynamics but
don't know my shirt size.

I have no life & can prove it mathematically.

I think in "maths".
I can translate English into binary.

I consider any non-science course "easy".

An 40/100 is heaven to me.

My xerox bills sure higher than my pocket money.!!

ENGINEER - an extraordinary race in the world..!!!

7 Reasons why I choose Engineering...

1. I hate to rest.
2. I have already enjoyed life in childhood.
3. I love tension.
4. I don't want to spend time with family.
5. I want to take revenge from myself.
6. I love to study on Sundays and holidays.
7. Pass hone ki khushi bardast nahi hoti thi yaar..... Kasam se.

Haal behaal......!!!

Neend nahi Aati Raat ko
Chain nahi Aata Din ko
Maine puchha Rab se
Kya yeh pyar hai..?
 

To Rab ne Bola-"Nahi Beta Engineering me sabka yahi haal hain." ♥

Engineers ka jawab nahi....!!!

A month before exams…We refer to foreign authors.
2 days before exams…. We refer to local authors.
On the day of exam… We become authors….
“sirf heading bata de baki me khud likh lunga”
 

Why I am not topper in my University ?

Bill Gates said :-

I am not a University Topper ,

But Today All University Toppers are my employees ....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Yehi Line
.
.
.
.
Bas yehi Line mujhe Top karne se rok deti hai .... :D

You may be an engineer..........If

You may be an engineer..
If you think that when people around you yawn, its because they didn get enough sleep..

You may be an engineer..
If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary..

You may be an engineer..
If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts..

You may be an engineer..
If your three year old son asks why the sky
is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory..

You may be an engineer..
If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work..

You may be an engineer..
If you know what http: stands for..

You may be an engineer..

If your deal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies..

Awesome just awesome............!!!

When I was Younger :-

• I'd put my arms in my shirt and told people I lost my arms

• Would restart the video game whenever I knew I was going to lose

• Had that one pen with four colors, and tried to push all the buttons at once

• Waited behind a door to scare someone, then leaving because they're taking too long to come out.

• Faked being asleep, so I could be carried to bed

• Used to think that the moon followed our car

• Watching two drops of rain roll down window and pretending it was a race

• Went on the computer just to use Paint

• The only thing i had to take care of was a school bag.

• The only 'fake' friends i had were invisible ones

• Swallowed a fruit seed I was scared to death that a tree was going to grow in my tummy

Simply mind-blowing

A warning message which should be written below clock of every examination hall.....
“TIME will pass, but will you ?”

Dedicated to All The Engineers.. !!

I Never Believed In Luck
But Engineering Taught Me to..

I Never Believed In Shocking Miracles
But Engineering Taught Me to..

I Never Believed Results Could Be So Freaky...
But Engineering Taught Me to..

I Never Believed , I Could Smile at Professor Who Screwed My life
But Engineering Taught Me to..

I Never Believed, I Could Study 1000 pages In 1 Night
But Engineering Taught Me to..

I Never Believed, I Could Write 36 Pages In 3 Hrs
But Engineering Taught Me to..

I never Believed, friends could be so handy to help out writing exam
But Engineering taught me to..

I Never Believed,"I Could Cry Without Tears"
But Engineering Taught Me that to..

Enjoy one of the most interesting courses offered in the world

Enjoy the thrill
Enjoy the impossibilities -.. !!

If you're an Engineer then Proud to be one..!! :))

Funny but true fact !

Respect your teachers...!!

"Apne TeaChers Ki Bahut

Izzat KiJiyE.

KyunKi,
.

.
KyunKi,
.

Es Duniya Me Murgi Ke

aLawa Ek Wo Hi Hai Jo,

AapKo Anda De SaKte Hai.....!!!

Students Rock & Madam shocked.....!!!

Teacher: '3 idiots' film dehknay ke baad aapko kya lesson mila?

Pappu: miss yehi ki..Engineering padh kar bhi medical ki ladki fasai ja sakti hai :D

Miss: shut up & get out.
.
.
.
Babloo: miss mein bataon..?

Miss: very good, batao..

Babloo: miss college ke 1st day Underwear zaroor pehna chahiye :D

Miss: u also get out.
.
.
.
Shamu: miss mein bataon..?

Miss: I think u are a brilliant student.. tum sahi batao gay.

Shamu: Miss doctor ke elawa Engineer bhi delivery kar sakta hai!

Miss: u also get out.
.
.
.
.
GUDU: Miss mein bataon.

Miss: HAAN BATAO...

GUDU: FRENCH KISS MEIN NAAK BEECH MEIN NAHI AATI. ;-)

Rarest commom race on earth- "Engineers"

Incredible INDIA

Kabhi noto ke liye mar gaye,
Kabhi voto ke liye mar gaye.
.
kabhi sheela ki jawani ke liye mar gaye.
kabhi jalebi bai diwani ke liye mar gaye.
.
kabhi jaati paati ke naam par mar gaye.
kabhi sarkaar ke kaam par mar gaye..
.
kabhi ham aapas men do gaz
zamino ke liye mar gaye..
.
.
hote aaj Veer Bhagat singh to kehte..
yaar Sukhdev,Rajguru
Ham bhi kin kamino ke liye mar gaye..!! :'(

Simply hats-off...!!

Logical circuit of life

Cool attitude of software engineer

Once A Software Engineer Was Smoking In A Public Place
Old Man Saw Him And Said: You Did’nt See That Board Indicates Warning About “Smoking In Public Places Is Prohibited”

Software Engineer: Oye Uncle, I Am Software Engineer By Profession And We Only Worry About Bugs & Errors….Not Warnings

Beware of Female Programmers

Now that I’ve lived to see this day,
These are the things I must but say.

Die a bachelor, if your options are few,
Never ever love a female programmer,
they’ll make a program out of you.

Don’t laugh it away, mine has been an object lesson,
They find syntax errors, even in a romantic expression.

Alas! They search logic in love, where there is none,
Your heart may skip a beat and they just hit return.

You are in for trouble if you persist,
You’ll just be a pointer in her long linked list.

They would never oblige you even with a smile,
And if a smile comes to their lips, they consign it to a file.

They have little regard for your amorous approaches,
Plight will be yours, infinite loops and blusterous gouaches.

You are bitten by different bugs, though love it may appear,
Just when you think you’re going steady, you’ll get a run-time
error.

And if your beloved is a programmer in COBOL,
May God be with you for they are the worst of them all.

Sticklers for standards, you’ll have a rough time,
You’ll die of keeping tabs, in your youth prime.

Beauty and brain together, which was never meant to be,
They have them both and are for sure deadly.

And yet there are Heroes who’s love has made history,
But why their fates didn’t hang is still a mystery.

So follow my advice if in me you have any trust,
Wait for the day when the beauty becomes an Analyst.

Time has changed

15 years ago…..
A program was….. a television show
An application was…. for employment
Windows were….. something you hated to clean
A keyboard was…. a piano
Memory was…. something you lost with age
A CD was… a bank account
If you unzipped in public you went to jail
Compress was something you did to garbage
A hard drive was a long trip on the road
Log on was adding wood to a fire
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
Cut you did with scissors
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider’s home
And a virus was the flu!!!

Six Reasons Computers Must be Female

1. As soon as you have one, a better one is just around the corner.

2. No one but the creator understands the internal logic.

3. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.

4. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

5. The message “Bad Command or File Name” is about as informative as “If you don’t know why I’m mad at you, then I’m certainly not going to tell you”.

6.As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half of your paycheck on accessories for it.

Top Ten Things Engineering colleges didn’t Teach You

1. There are at least 10 types of capacitors.
2. Theory tells you how a circuit works, not why it does not work.
3. Not everything works according to the specs in the databook.
4. Anything practical you learn will be obsolete before you use it, except the complex math, which you will never use.
5. Engineering is like having an 8 a.m. class and a late afternoon lab every day for the rest of your life.
6. Overtime pay? What overtime pay?
7. Managers, not engineers, rule the world.
8. Always try to fix the hardware with software.
9. If you like junk food, caffeine and all-nighters, go into software.
10. Dilbert is not a comic strip, it’s a documentary.

Funny facts about engineers

• They consider any non-engineering course "easy". 
• T-shirt and jeans are their formal dress.
• No matter how hard girl cries and how loud she yells, he just sits there calmly discussing her emotion in terms of mathematical logic.
• Engineer touches his car more often than his girl.
• Normal people believe that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain’t broke, it doesn’t have enough features yet!
• Engineering is like having an 8 a.m. class and a late afternoon lab every day for the rest of ur life.
• Engineer don’t really mad when the price of petrol goes up, but mad like a hell when there is mistake in the vector calculation.
• Engineers know how to build sports car and jet fighter but they don’t even know how to build relationship with a girl.
• Engineer don’t understand things in mathematics, he just get used to them.
• Engineer can have Doctor title (Dr.) in front of his name, while Doctor cannot get Engineer title (Er.) in front of their names.
• Engineers claim that they were the greenest people ever in this world by created hybrid engine, but at the same time they hiding the truth that they makes the world worst by using the battery in the hybrid engine. People think they are saving the environment with a hybrid car but the batteries in it can be hazardous to the environment and some electrical plants pollute.
• They design road car that can reach speed more than 400km/h while at the same time they do realised that according to the law the max speed for car were allowed to go on highway is only 120km/h.
• Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
• Engineer knows that nothing's ever built to last, but that doesn't mean it's not worth building.
• Engineer is someone who is good with figures, but doesn't have the personality of an accountant. 
• Mercedes’s engineers design a feature where the car can auto reposition its seats towards a best position for an airbag to hug u when crashing. The new generation line of VW's seatbelts make sure u don’t get cut when they holding u in while u crashing. These car manufacture’s engineers are trying very hard to make crashing a bit comfortable. Soon we will be crashing in class and style!
• The working time for engineer is from morning to eternity.

Reality of present education system